Overthinking is just killing me. It’s like my mind is stuck in a loop, replaying the same memories over and over again. I don’t know why I keep doing this to myself, but I just can’t stop. These thoughts keep rolling in, and before I know it, they turn into dreams—deep, emotional dreams that leave me feeling empty and lost. Sometimes, I wake up with tears in my eyes, and other times, I just lay there, staring at the ceiling, wondering why she still has such a hold on my mind.
I can’t forget the time she spent with me, from the moment my day started in school, sitting beside her, to the evenings at tuition. Those little things that probably meant nothing to her mean everything to me. The way she used to talk, the way she used to laugh at my silly Things—even the way she used to ignore me sometimes, all of it keeps replaying in my head. It’s like a movie that never stops playing, no matter how much I want to move on.
Every time she sent me a message, I used to overthink it, analyzing every word, trying to figure out if there was some hidden meaning. Did she really care? Was she just being nice? Was she trying to tell me something without actually saying it? My brain just wouldn’t let me rest. And when she stopped texting, my mind went into overdrive, thinking of a hundred different reasons why. Maybe she got bored of me, maybe she found someone else, or maybe I was just never that important to her. But deep down, I never wanted to accept that last one.
I remember the way she looked at me sometimes, the way she called my name in a certain tone, like I actually mattered. Maybe I was imagining it, or maybe it was real. But that feeling, that moment—it still stays with me. I don’t even know why. It’s not like she ever said anything directly. Maybe it was all in my head, and I was just hoping for something that was never really there.
And the worst part? Even after all this time, even after knowing she’s not thinking about me the way I think about her, I still can’t stop. Every time I see something that reminds me of her, my mind starts running in circles again. A random song, a certain place, even just a familiar scent—it all brings me back to those days, to those memories that refuse to fade.
I hate this feeling. I hate how my mind keeps holding onto something that’s already gone. I hate how I let myself get trapped in these thoughts, knowing damn well that they’re only making me miserable. I know I should stop. I know I need to move on. But the truth is, I don’t even know how.
So, I’ve made a decision. I have to stop overthinking about her. I need to stop looking at her photos, stop reading old messages, stop letting these memories control me. It’s not going to be easy, but I have to try. I need to keep myself busy, focus on things that actually matter, and train my brain to think about something—anything—other than her. Because if I don’t, I’ll just keep sinking deeper into this never-ending loop of overthinking, and honestly, I don’t want to live like that anymore.