First Year - First Semester Gone 😶

Ya, just today I have completed my first semester exams. Everything seems fine, but there’s this weird feeling like I wasted all my time.

Every single day was almost the same—go to college, bunk college at the first break at 11:00 AM, go home, and play games. At the start, I actually went regularly with 90% attendance, sitting in class, observing things, seeing people. But now, when I think deeply, I didn’t even make any new friends. Not even one.

Why? Because I felt it was unnecessary.

I already had a good number of friends in the same college—from my school and intermediate college. Actually, I thought all of them were going to join VIT Vellore or Amrita University. I even planned for it, but I quit because of my mom. I thought that since all my friends were going to different colleges, I could start fresh in this college.

But reality? Reality just slapped me.

All the scrap from my school and college ended up in the same place. Disappointing.

And they always—always—talk about that shit Sandhya. Every single day. At first, it annoyed me, but later I realized maybe this was actually a good thing. At least they never reminded me of Harshi. No crazy talks, no random memories that would push me back into that spiral. That was the only relief.

But still, every day, a part of me regretted not joining SRM.

Sometimes, though, I think this was the best decision I ever made. She is enjoying her life without me in the same college. If I had joined SRM, maybe she wouldn’t have been able to. Going out with friends, chilling, enjoying—it’s not my type of thing anyway. I hate people always thinking about me, expecting me to talk, being in a crowded group, discussing random shit.

So, finally, first semester is over.

Practical exams were light. We literally used phones to write internals. The difficult part? External exams. Since my college is JNTUA-affiliated, we had to write our exams in another college. And guess what? I got assigned to the worst and strictest exam center—Golapalli Siddhartha.

But somehow, I managed. I barely prepared, just studied for a day before each exam and went with it. And now, it’s done. First semester is officially over.

Was it worth it? Maybe.

Did I actually learn anything? Probably not.

Did I waste my time? Absolutely.

But it is what it is.

Link